Am I the only one with an almost five year old who has crossed the threshold to a whole new level of temper tantrums?! FOR GOODNESS SAKES ... none of the books mention them :) - aren't they supposed to be grown, precious, perfectly behaved angles by the time five comes around? Or is this a last ditch effort on behalf of four year olds to get it out of their system?!
Lexi all in all is a very well behaved girl.... but I must admit, there is a string of DNA that I contributed that allows her to turn on and off like a light switch. Most of her outbreaks as of late have been at home, in the comfort of our own surrounds, well,,, all of the outbreaks.... and I've also noticed they coincide with her energy level. I can almost predict them. Simple solution then right?! Yes .... more rest .... lest stimulation ... yadda yadda ... but at the same time, as she's being 'corrected' (we use a time out chair), I'm not sure she is really getting that this isn't OK - because in the end, it usually results in major major major meltdown mode... and instead of it become a mode of defiance on her part, it becomes an emotional issue ... and that is a whole different level.
OK - the above is a vent if you haven't noticed :). I love my girls, and what each day brings. What am I going to do?! I've been reading a book by Lisa Whelchel (yes, Blair from The Facts of Life - if you're old enough to remember :) ) - called Creative Coorrection - Extradordinary Ideas for Everyday Dscipline. This isn't a plug for her book - although, it's been a good source of resource for me. What I want to share with those of you with older kiddos, is an interesting approach called a correction can.
Now I can threaten and say Lexi will lose something if she doesn't behave. But what I've found with the Correction Can, is that Lexi is directly involved with 'assigning' (for lack of a better word) her punishment. And when I say punishment, I'm not meaning spanking, etc - but rather she determines her 'destiny' when she puts her hand in the can and withdraws her consequence - be it, time out chair, time lost on the computer, we even have one in there that results in us removing the swing from her swing set for the morning or afternoon - we also have added 'chores' to the jar - so it's not always a loss that she experiences. After 'losing' something that is important to her for an amount of time, she is learning that there are consequences that go beyond mommy or daddy's threats and the same old punishment. She's learning that just as she is responsible for her actions, she is also responsible for her consequences, and by drawing that slip of paper herself, it hits home a little more. Instead of automatically resorting to idling shouting 'I'm sorry' immediately after she acts out, she knows that she also needs to make her way over to the kitchen island where the jar is, and pull out her consequence.
Now .... I'm not using this method when we've got a pure emotional pooped out meltdown - but, nipping it in the bud before it can get that far with a method like this, has worked well .... just thought I'd share. :)
Lexi all in all is a very well behaved girl.... but I must admit, there is a string of DNA that I contributed that allows her to turn on and off like a light switch. Most of her outbreaks as of late have been at home, in the comfort of our own surrounds, well,,, all of the outbreaks.... and I've also noticed they coincide with her energy level. I can almost predict them. Simple solution then right?! Yes .... more rest .... lest stimulation ... yadda yadda ... but at the same time, as she's being 'corrected' (we use a time out chair), I'm not sure she is really getting that this isn't OK - because in the end, it usually results in major major major meltdown mode... and instead of it become a mode of defiance on her part, it becomes an emotional issue ... and that is a whole different level.
OK - the above is a vent if you haven't noticed :). I love my girls, and what each day brings. What am I going to do?! I've been reading a book by Lisa Whelchel (yes, Blair from The Facts of Life - if you're old enough to remember :) ) - called Creative Coorrection - Extradordinary Ideas for Everyday Dscipline. This isn't a plug for her book - although, it's been a good source of resource for me. What I want to share with those of you with older kiddos, is an interesting approach called a correction can.
Now I can threaten and say Lexi will lose something if she doesn't behave. But what I've found with the Correction Can, is that Lexi is directly involved with 'assigning' (for lack of a better word) her punishment. And when I say punishment, I'm not meaning spanking, etc - but rather she determines her 'destiny' when she puts her hand in the can and withdraws her consequence - be it, time out chair, time lost on the computer, we even have one in there that results in us removing the swing from her swing set for the morning or afternoon - we also have added 'chores' to the jar - so it's not always a loss that she experiences. After 'losing' something that is important to her for an amount of time, she is learning that there are consequences that go beyond mommy or daddy's threats and the same old punishment. She's learning that just as she is responsible for her actions, she is also responsible for her consequences, and by drawing that slip of paper herself, it hits home a little more. Instead of automatically resorting to idling shouting 'I'm sorry' immediately after she acts out, she knows that she also needs to make her way over to the kitchen island where the jar is, and pull out her consequence.
Now .... I'm not using this method when we've got a pure emotional pooped out meltdown - but, nipping it in the bud before it can get that far with a method like this, has worked well .... just thought I'd share. :)
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